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Chapter 4
“Morning, Ak-kun.”
“…Huh?”
When I opened the door, she was standing there with a smile.
Like she was there to greet me.
Like… it was as if nothing had happened from the start.
Еṅu̇m̄а̃
Friday. Today would be the end of the school week.
High schoolers’ heads were full of how to spend the two-day break starting tomorrow. Of course, there were probably patterns like the students in the special college-prep track that Mamiya-san belonged to, who would go to school on Saturday like normal.
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
For me, this week had been a whirlwind. Something awful happened, I met an irreplaceable friend, and I entered into a “contract” like something I’d never even thought about in my life before.
It had been a messed-up week, like my entire life had been repainted. Even so, yesterday I’d been able to sleep just a little pleasantly. I didn’t have any weekend plans, but I should’ve been able to spend my time a bit more calmly…
Or so I thought.
“W-why…”
Е̂ n ůḿ а̀ . i̊ ď
“Ah, did I surprise you? I suppose that's true. Yeah. Up until now, Ak-kun’s always been the one coming to pick me up.”
“That’s not what I mean… Why, because—”
“There’s nothing that strange about it, is there? Up until now, we’ve always gone to school together.”
She—Karen—tilted her head as if it were strange.
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
Yeah. This really was the same as what I’d always seen. A very cute smile that tickled your urge to protect her.
Every time I saw it, my heart would jump—
Ӗ numа̌
But now, there was a completely different kind of ache.
That had happened… and yet her smile didn’t fade at all, and it sent a chill down my spine.
“I-I told you... that we should stop going to school together.”
“Yeah. And I also said I’d wait until you calmed down.”
“Then why—”
“Because I saw it. Ak-kun walking with a smile. So I thought maybe you’d already calmed down♪”
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
Karen said it like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like she didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt.
“Yesterday after school, you were with a girl, right? I happened to see you.”
Still smiling, but her tone lowered just a little…
And that alone made the air freeze slightly. It was what she did when she was angry.
“—!”
“Why are you making that face? That face like you’re about to say, ‘Oh no,’ like you messed up.”
Ŵ е b̀ no v̂е̊ l̂ Ё n̈ úm а̌
I didn’t know why, myself.
But I found myself thinking I didn’t want her to know about Mamiya-san—that she mustn’t know.
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Up until now, I’d never kept anything from Karen, but—
“Ak-kun, you’ve never kept secrets from me until now.”
As if reading my thoughts—no, my nature—like it was nothing, Karen pouted.
“—! Y-you were keeping things from me too…!”
Ê n u̇ m а̇
“You mean about Soichi-kun? But come on, calling it a ‘secret’ is exaggerating.”
Exaggerating…?
Seeing Karen smile the way she always did, with zero guilt, my thoughts froze.
For a while now—no, from the beginning—I couldn’t understand what Karen was saying at all.
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“I was going to properly tell you, Ak-kun. About Soichi-kun.”
“Hah…?”
Ë nŭ mа . ï d
“You know, I met Soichi-kun right after we started school.”
As she started talking on her own, Karen began walking, like she was leading me along.
No one said we were going together. I wasn’t ready to face Karen yet.
I didn’t want to hear about Shibaki either… or at least, I shouldn’t have, but my feet started moving after her on their own.
“He suddenly talked to me first. He said I was cute… but that kind of thing happened a lot even before, right?”
…Don’t keep looking to me for confirmation like that.
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
It’s true Karen is really popular. I don’t know if it was real or a scam, but she’d even been scouted by talent agencies a few times.
But what bothered me wasn’t that Karen seemed pleased talking about it… That wouldn’t be strange at all, given I knew the outcome.
What caught my attention was Soichi’s part in this. He talked to her because she was cute? Even though you had Mamiya-san.
“Soichi-kun’s really big, right? Totally different from you, Ak-kun. At first I thought he might be an upperclassman, but… he’s not as scary as he looks. He’s kind of… innocent, I guess? Stuff like that is cute too, you know?”
Karen giggled, laughing like she was having fun.
Еn u ṁ ä. iḋ
If this were a lovey-dovey brag story, I’m sure the person talking would be having fun. I just can’t understand the nerve it takes to tell it to me.
“And then, as we kept talking more and more, he confessed to me. Of course I was dating Ak-kun, so I thought I should turn him down, but… Ak-kun, we’re childhood friends, right? So I thought that if I was going to date someone, it might be better if it was Soichi-kun.”
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“Huuh…………?”
My feet—which had been moving on their own—stopped.
I was trembling, dizzy enough that if I let my guard down even a little, I felt like I might collapse right there.
The only saving grace was that what Karen was saying was so completely absurd that I didn’t even have room to get angry.
Éňu ma
“Did I maybe make you think I care more about Soichi-kun than you, Ak-kun? Ahaha, that’s not it.”
“N-not it…? But Karen, you chose him, didn’t you…?”
“It’s not about choosing. Because even if we’re not lovers, you and I can stay together forever as childhood friends, right? But with Soichi-kun, if I turned down his confession, it’d probably be over right there, so even though we finally got to know each other, I thought it’d be a waste.”
“S-so that’s why… you ended up in that kind of relationship with him?”
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“Yeah. I was surprised when he suddenly kissed me and pushed me down, but… it’s not like it was forced, so you can relax about that, okay?”
I thought Karen had cheated on me. That she’d deceived me and gone off with another guy…
W ë b n о̀v̊ е̇l̊ E̊n ŭṁӓ
But that wasn’t correct.
Something was happening that was far beyond anything that simple…
Something I couldn’t understand at all.
“Karen… what do you think of me?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like… you like me, or you don’t.”
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“What are you saying? Of course I love you. I mean, Ak-kun is always kind, you always think about me first—you’re my childhood friend from way back.”
“…I see.”
Being kind, thinking about Karen first—those were things I’d tried to be, because I wanted to.
But hearing her say it out loud, I realized there was a huge difference in temperature between us.
Karen had accepted my feelings at face value, and then, by her own will, she’d given her body to him.
I’m a guy too. It’s not everything, but… I definitely had those feelings too.
Ё n úm а̌. í_d
When I confessed to Karen and she accepted me, there was no way I hadn’t imagined it.
Someday, at the perfect time, kissing her, and then—
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“…Didn’t you feel any resistance to doing that with Shibaki…?”
A pathetic feeling made that question come out of my mouth. Even though nothing would change no matter what she said.
“I don’t think I felt any resistance. I was a little embarrassed, but Soichi-kun was happy, and I was too. At first it hurt a little, but I started feeling good pretty quickly♪”
That graphic first-time review carved away at my sanity. But the worst part wasn’t the content itself.
Е́ñ umӓ
How I’d felt when I confessed to Karen. How happy I’d been that she accepted me. What kind of time I’d wanted to spend with Karen.
I realized none of that had gotten through to Karen in the slightest.
Because even while she was saying all this, Karen’s smile hadn’t changed at all from what it always was. It was the smile of the “childhood friend from long ago” that I’d fallen in love with.
“I accidentally let you see it, Ak-kun… but I was planning to properly explain it to you, you know?”
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“…And you didn’t think about how I’d react?”
“Huh? Think about it… There’s no need for that, is there?”
W ӗ b̈ n оv ѐ l Е̃ n̆ ǔ mа̄
That innocent look—like she thought I would accept anything about her—gouged at my chest.
“There’s no way there’s ‘no need’… because…!”
“Ah, that’s right! Ak-kun, did you know?”
Even my protest got easily drowned out.
Up until now, I’d been Karen’s yes-man. I wanted her attention, I wanted her to like me, I was afraid of conflict—so even if I tried to rebel, it wouldn’t reach her. There was no way it would.
“Soichi-kun plays tennis too. He said he’s the best among people our age!”
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“—…”
Karen spoke about Shibaki’s background like she was bragging.
The fact that the girl I loved was infatuated with another guy. And information about the man named Shibaki Soichi.
Neither of those was something I could handle right now.
Because Shibaki… because he…
“Soichi-kun said he knows a lot about injuries too. So, Ak-kun, if Soichi-kun could help you out, then you could—”
Ёǹum а̊_. ìd
“Just stop it already!!”
I couldn’t take it anymore, and I shouted so hard my throat stung.
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Maybe that volume finally startled her—Karen froze, then looked at me with shaken eyes.
“I don’t want to hear any more… not anymore…”
I clutched at my pants hard. My vision spun weirdly, my hands trembled… and if I relaxed even a little, I felt like I’d collapse to my knees.
“Ak-kun? But…”
W ѐb̄ǹо̆v êl̃ Е̌n ům̆a.
“I… I really did love you, Karen.”
“Huh? But of course I love you too—”
“No. You and I don’t feel the same way at all… Probably from the very beginning.”
I’d always been with Karen. I loved her. I thought of her as more important than family, and I thought I knew her better than anyone… that’s what I’d believed.
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“If I… if I felt the same way you do, then that day—after middle school graduation—I never would’ve confessed. I didn’t want to just be your childhood friend from way back. I wanted to become your boyfriend.”
What would it even matter, saying that now?
Е̊ n̂ ú m ӑ
To begin with, what was this “Karen” I thought I’d known all this time? Karen was always smiling, always relying on me… No, it’s not something I can put into words that simply.
I liked being with her. Just being with her made me feel happy.
But…
“It was only me who felt that way, on my own.”
Even now, her smile hadn’t changed. Not even a little from what it was in my memories.
Her gentle voice, that sweet vibe that made me want to protect her… And yet, the fact that she felt like a different person made me want to doubt her, because I’d only just now realized I hadn’t understood her at all.
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“Um… I was happy you confessed to me, Ak-kun. But—”
“Yeah. I know.”
For Karen, I’m already sitting in the seat called “childhood friend.” So she handed the seat called “boyfriend” to Shibaki. That sense of it still isn’t something I can understand.
The more we talked, the less I understood Karen, and the more I tried to throw my feelings at her, the more emptiness surged up.
So I couldn’t do this anymore… I couldn't take any more of this.
“I get it… Karen. Let’s break up.”
E̊ n̆u m̃.а̊ .і d̈
With a headache and nausea that made me feel like I was about to fall apart, I somehow managed to squeeze the words out.
Maybe from the start, it wasn’t even a relationship I could call “dating,” but still… letting it fade out, or pretending it never existed from the beginning—that would be too pathetic for the me who’d even shed tears of joy at that confession that day.
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“Huh? Yeah… sure. I mean, I’m dating Soichi-kun.”
Karen nodded like it was obvious, like she was saying, “Isn’t it a little late for that?” There was no regret, no pity, no mockery—nothing at all.
My first love, which I’d nurtured for over ten years and thought had finally blossomed, reached its definitive end like this. Ever since the day I saw that scene with my own eyes, I’d understood it was already falling apart long ago, but… even so, bringing myself to clearly declare the end was as painful as that day.
So much so that I felt like I couldn’t stay in the same space as her any longer.
Ë n̈ ŭ ḿа̌
“Sorry… I’m not feeling well today, so I’m going to skip school. Go on without me.”
“Huh? Are you okay? Do you want me to nurse you?”
“…………Just… give me a break already.”
It seemed the honest words that slipped out, mixed with my headache, didn’t reach Karen clearly.
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She just tilted her head in confusion… but maybe something got through, because even though she looked worried, she didn’t come closer in a weird way.
“See you.”
Е n̊ úm̆ ā
“Ah… Ak-kun! I wanted to ask about yesterday—who that girl was, and what you were doing together…”
Ah. Right. That’s why Karen had gone out of her way to be waiting in front of my house today.
But…
“There’s no reason for me to tell you that, Karen.”
I answered shortly, wanting to end the conversation quickly. It was a cold, emotionless line—so much so that I realized it myself only after I said it.
Karen probably hadn’t expected me to reject her like that. She froze with her mouth slightly open.
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“…See you.”
I turned my back on her and started walking back the way I'd just come.
I didn't mean for it to feel like I’d “gotten back at her” or anything like that.
I just didn’t want to tell Karen about Mamiya-san. It’s not like I had some clear reason… but when I tried to think about it, the headache just kept getting worse, and I couldn’t even focus on that.
“Ah… I really feel like I’m getting sick…”
Even feeling my consciousness starting to drift away, I staggered along and somehow managed to make it home.
W е̇ b̃ṅоv е l̀ Ĕ n̊ um̄ а̃
◇
They say illness is all in the mind, but after I turned back and got home, apparently my complexion looked unbelievably awful.
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My mom—who normally wouldn't dream of letting me skip school—let me rest without saying a word. The slight fever I’d somehow developed probably helped push her to that decision, too.
Of course I’d taken damage accordingly—no, more than that, for sure. My heart was pounding so hard a slight fever didn’t even begin to cover it, disgusting sweat kept pouring out nonstop, my head hurt, and it was all just the worst.
I lay down on the bed and waited for the palpitations to settle.
“Karen…”
Е ńumа̇
As the headache and nausea slowly eased, what came back to me was, of course, that exchange from earlier.
It wasn’t like calming down made it easier to accept—if anything, the calmer I got, the more something like fear swelled up inside me.
I’d thought Karen had betrayed me—that I’d been deceived and cheated on.
But Karen probably never had any intention of deceiving me. I hadn’t felt any malice or guilt from her. She’d been completely normal—just like always.
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
Like I’d been wrong from the start… no, I really must’ve misunderstood. Without understanding what kind of person Karen actually was, I’d gotten ahead of myself and fallen for her all on my own.
Even though I thought she was the most important person in this world, and the one I understood better than anyone…
Е_n̆u m̂ă
“Ah…”
My phone vibrated. It was from Mamiya-san.
【Are you free during lunch break?】
A curt chat message with no emoji—just the matter at hand.
It was just like her...
“…But I don’t know what kind of face she’s making on the other side of this, either…”
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That kind of stray thought suddenly crossed my mind.
Mamiya-san was on my side. A comrade with the same wound. Even yesterday, I’d reaffirmed that and sworn I’d trust her… that was supposed to be the case, and yet it still kept surfacing.
Was the Mamiya-san I had in my head really the same as the real Mamiya-san?
What if… Mamiya-san was deceiving me?
To begin with, I still didn’t even know whether she really was Shibaki’s fiancée. She’d only said she was.
Maybe she wasn’t a fiancée at all… no, maybe she was actually on Shibaki and Karen’s side, worming her way into me like a spy, and the three of them were laughing about it together—.
W е b̀ n о̄ vel Ė nǔ m_а̃
“…N-no! That’s just baseless suspicion. There’s no benefit for Mamiya-san to do something like that!”
Even if I imagined the worst-case scenario—that Shibaki, after ending up in that kind of relationship with Karen, didn’t like my existence and sent Mamiya-san after me—she’d had absolutely no connection to me until now, so it still felt way too roundabout. There had to be more effective ways.
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And more than anything…
'—So I’ll promise you. I won’t be the one to let go of your hand, either. If you won’t leave me… then this contract is forever.'
I don’t want to doubt Mamiya-san’s words.
My judgment of people isn’t something I can rely on anymore. I’m just a fool with holes for eyes who didn’t understand anything about Karen… and even so, I still…
W еb̌ ṅо v̇ el̀ Еňûḿ а̃
“…I have to reply, at least.”
With my head a complete mess, I forced my brain to function, as if trying to patch things up.
A little time had already passed. The app's read receipt had already told her I'd seen the message. If I waited too long to reply, I might make her uncomfortable.
【Sorry. I took the day off from school today.】
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It took me a full five minutes just to manage something that safe and bland.
But before I could even let out a sigh, thinking I’d gotten through it, my phone vibrated again.
Еn_um̌ а
【Are you okay? You didn’t look like you felt bad yesterday, though.】
Right—this was lunch break right now. If she could check her phone, then if I sent a message, a reply would come right back… um…!
【I’m fine, so don’t worry about it.】
“…Was that a little too blunt?”
I thought that immediately, but it was already sent.
So I resigned myself and started searching for some appropriate sticker to send as an extra, to smooth things over—
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Before I could, a call came in from her… a call!?
“W-why!? But… I can’t not answer…”
If I didn’t pick up here, it would clearly be me ignoring her.
I hesitated for a moment, then pressed the call button.
“...Hello?”
【Hello. Are you okay right now?】
Ẽ nüm̌ ȧ.і́d
“Uh, y-yeah... What’s wrong...?”
【...I was just a little worried.】
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Her voice sounded kind of irritated. Even through the phone, I felt like I could picture her frowning, brows knit.
But then why was she irritated...? Had something happened to her, too? Or was it because I’d skipped school...? No—maybe there was a chance Karen had told her that I’d been cold to her...!
【Watanuki-kun】
“Y-yes!?”
E n̄u.m̃ а ..і̄ ḋ
【You’re not hiding something, are you?】
“Huh...!?”
My heart jumped.
Even though it was just a phone call, it felt like she could see right through me—or maybe she already knew?
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No. I couldn’t stop imagining the worst...!
“W-why...?”
Ё n̊ůmа́
【I can tell from your voice. And I was also a little bothered by how unnaturally late your reply was after you left me on read... Well, I figured it was possible you were in such a bad state you couldn’t pick up, so I’m relieved it wasn’t that—but...】
“From my voice... and the time it took me to reply...?”
【What else would it be, if not that?】
She pressed me with pointed, suspicious questions.
The person on the other end of the call was exactly the Mamiya-san I’d always imagined.
Hearing that slightly irritated tone right by my ear made my back straighten on reflex.
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“Um, well...”
【What. Something you don’t want me to ask about?】
“I wouldn’t say I don’t want you to, it’s just...”
【Does it have to do with you missing school?】
“Ugh...”
【So it does.】
Е nům̂ a . i d̈
She’d nailed it!
Even over the phone, it felt like she was seeing straight into my head.
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“N-no, but... It’s not something that has anything to do with you, Mamiya-san...”
【...Is that really true? If you say it is, I’ll believe you, but...】
Believe.
That word made my chest ache. Her slightly uneasy tone made a different kind of sweat run down my back than before.
Еn̊ u̇ m̌_а. і́_d̃
I couldn’t say there was absolutely zero chance that Mamiya-san was deceiving me.
But that was just my own ugly imagination, with no basis... It was only because I’d failed to see Karen’s true face that I’d become paranoid—and yet there was no way to prove that suspicion was nothing but needless worry, either.
...In the end, I just didn’t want to get hurt. I’d been trying to reject Mamiya-san purely for my own self-preservation.
Even though she might be innocent... No—even if she wasn’t, the fact that she saved me back then was something that could never be changed.
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“...I’m sorry, Mamiya-san.”
【Huh—wait... D-don’t tell me you’re crying!?】
Ë n̂ úm а̃
“N-no, it’s just...”
【I can tell even over the phone, you know. At least that much.】
Her considerate voice squeezed my chest even tighter.
My head was a mess. I couldn’t tell whether I should trust Mamiya-san—or whether I wanted to trust her, or didn’t—and my emotions spilled out.
【...If it’s okay, won’t you tell me? Don’t worry, I won’t go telling anyone. And... I moved somewhere there’s no one around right now. Even if you end up blurting out something so outrageous you’d want to scream, you won’t bother anyone.】
For some reason, Mamiya-san sounded flustered, speaking a little fast. So this was what she meant by being able to tell even over the phone... She was clearly trying to be considerate of me.
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That clumsy kindness was so like her—and if I’m being honest, I want to trust her, but...
【Ahem. Go on, then.】
“Um...”
Even so, how was I supposed to explain it?
Even if I tried to be honest, I still hadn’t properly sorted it out in my own head. But letting the silence stretch out would be unfair to Mamiya-san.
I needed to just say it. Say it plainly... plainly...
Е̂ n̊ u̇ ḿ ӓ
“Mamiya-san... you aren’t, like... in on something with Karen, right?”
【?】
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A voice with real menace behind it! Even over the phone, I could practically feel my ear getting yanked—hard!!
I’d said it too plainly!!
【I don’t know how you even got to that idea, but... Watanuki-kun?】
“Y-yes...!”
En_ù m̊ а̊
【It’s fine if it takes a while. But could you tell me everything—every last detail—from the very beginning?】
Yeah... I could tell even over the phone.
Right now, Mamiya-san was probably smiling pleasantly—while a vein throbbed on her forehead.
Even though it was over the phone, I started shaking like crazy. I dropped into seiza right there, rubbed my forehead against the floor, and desperately explained.
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Everything that had happened this morning—without even the chance to gloss anything over—every last detail...
◇
W̃ ĕb̂ nо vеl Eṅu m̈ а
“T-that’s... everything.”
【...I see.】
After I finished explaining it all, Mamiya-san’s voice was extremely strained.
Here and there, she’d reacted with “Huh!?” in shock, recoiled with “Seriously...!?” and laid her confusion bare with things like “Huh? Ah—what!? W-wait, hold on!?”... Even if it was true that I had terrible judgment, she still didn’t seem like someone crafty enough to be trying to deceive me.
【For now... my condolences. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say to you, but... well, if I were in your position, I might’ve suspected me too.】
“I-is that so...?”
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【I’m not, of course, connected to her—or to Soichi, that man—in any way. Just being suspected of that makes my skin crawl. But I think right now you’re not in a state where you can even trust yourself, and no matter how strongly I insist I’m innocent, you won’t be able to accept it completely.】
As Mamiya-san let out a deep sigh, I felt like I could do nothing but cry.
She was right. There was no way I could see her as the kind of person who’d trick someone. It hadn’t even been a week since we met, but I’d experienced firsthand just how sincere, straightforward, and kind she was.
And yet, I couldn’t trust that sense of mine. That was why—despite not wanting to doubt her, despite wanting to believe her—I couldn’t take that final step.
【If you want, I could go to her classroom right now and punch her as hard as I can. That way I can punish her for hurting my dear friend, and you might feel a little better. And if we even record it on video, that’d give you at least some reason to believe me, wouldn’t it?】
“N-no, you can’t!? That would only cause trouble for you, Mamiya-san!”
Ẇ еb n̄ оv̈ ӗl̊ Ĕ n̊ um̆а
【And you can still suspect I’m connected to her, even when you can stop me like that.】
“Ugh... I mean, Mamiya-san, you just said I’m your dear—”
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【Ah, the bell’s already going to ring! I have to get back to class!】
Mamiya-san cut me off in a way that felt oddly unnatural.
Then, with an exaggerated, “Heave-ho,” she muttered, sounding as if she were standing up—at least, that’s what it sounded like.
【Right, Watanuki-kun. What’s the nearest station to your house?】
W еb̈n̄ о vе́.l̄ Е́ nůmа̃
“Huh?”
The topic changed completely all of a sudden, and though I was confused, I answered honestly.
【I see...】
Her voice pulled a little farther away, and I heard something like her tapping on her phone.
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Why was she asking for my nearest station, anyway?
【Alright, then... five p.m. We’ll meet in front of the ticket gates.】
Ѐ númâ
“Huh?”
【After seventh period ends, I’ll get there around then. If you’re not actually sick, you can come out, right?】
“Um, so... you mean we’re meeting up now...?”
【You wouldn’t throw my request aside after you unilaterally shoved a suspicion at me... would you?】
She was smiling when she said it. I could practically see her expression.
But for some reason...
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At the same time, I could imagine—no, I could understand perfectly—that her eyes weren’t smiling at all.
It was like a knife had been pressed to the back of my neck. Bathed in that killing intent, all I could do was nod.
◇
When Mom got home from her part-time job, I told her I was feeling better, so I was going to go for a quick run, then left the house.
It was obviously a complete fake illness, but I couldn’t come up with a better reason... And for some reason, Mom didn’t press me about it at all—she just let me go like it was normal.
To make my “I’m going running” excuse sound more legitimate, I left wearing a tracksuit, but afterward I regretted it, thinking it might look a little too dorky to meet Mamiya-san in.
Е̊ nům á
And if it was my nearest station, there was also the risk of running into Karen...
While I unconsciously searched for reasons to turn back like that, I arrived right on time in front of the ticket gates—and Mamiya-san was already standing there.
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“Y-you really came...”
“You thought I was teasing you? So you really don’t trust me. How sad...”
“N-no, that’s not what I meant!”
“Hehe. I’m joking. I’m well aware that this was a pretty impulsive, out-of-nowhere thing to do. On the way here, I hesitated a few times, wondering if I should message you and say never mind.”
Еnü m̂а
Whether she was serious or joking, Mamiya-san smiled with a shrug, then held out her bag to me.
Apparently, she wanted me to carry it. And surely... this was her being considerate, too.
“I only need to talk a little, so it’s fine if we just walk around.”
“...Okay.”
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I took the bag and nodded at her words.
I’d assumed she’d tell me to take her all the way to my house, so I was a little surprised—and in my head, just in case, I quickly brought up a few family restaurants I could get into easily.
Е̌ nǔmа. іd
“This is my first time getting off at this station. Watanuki-kun, were you born and raised around here?”
“Yeah. But there’s nothing around here, so if I ever need something, I go out toward Sendai.”
“Well, in an area like this, that’s how it ends up. In the end, it’s the easiest option.”
Walking alongside me, Mamiya-san wore a gentle smile.
The anger I’d felt over the phone was nowhere to be seen. Though maybe it was just that I couldn’t see it.
“What’s with that stiff face? You look like you’re nervous.”
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“Ugh... because...”
“If you’re going to make that face, you shouldn’t have suspected me in the first place. Do I look like I’m deceiving you?”
“...You don’t.”
“Correct. Because I’m not deceiving you. I mean, I might lie to my family a little more than that, but I intend to be honest with you, you know?”
Giggling softly, Mamiya-san... for some reason, suddenly took my hand.
“!? Mamiya-san!?”
Е ńu m̃ а́ .і̇ d
“You were thinking this too, weren’t you? What you’d do if someone you know saw us together. Family, friends, and... that troublesome ex-girlfriend of yours, for example.”
“Ugh... but that would cause you trouble, Mamiya-san...”
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“It wouldn't affect me one bit. This isn't my hometown, and I'm sure I don't have any acquaintances around here. So if someone does see us, you can just say this.”
Mamiya-san brought her mouth close to my ear, and with her breath, slipped that temptation in.
“That we’re dating.”
“!?”
Е n ũ m̂a . і d
At her out-of-nowhere suggestion, my mind went completely blank... and seeing me like that, Mamiya-san raised the corner of her lips like she’d gotten me.
“It wouldn’t be wrong, would it? Between two people who’ve entered into a contract for pseudo romance, letting people around you know you’re lovers is part of the joy of romance, isn’t it?”
“No, but...”
“And it’d be a deterrent to your ex-girlfriend, wouldn’t it? It might help you avoid crazy approaches like this morning, too. I don’t know.”
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I’d told her everything about this morning—how Karen was probably bothered by Mamiya-san, too.
Mamiya-san understood that, knew Karen’s attacks could turn toward her, and that was why she was saying this.
Ēnü m а
“But it’s an unpleasant story, isn’t it? She should’ve seen my face when I punched that shitty fiancé, and yet she didn’t remember me at all, right? Since she went out of her way to ask, ‘Who’s that woman,’ and all.”
“W-well, maybe...”
“She did. You probably can’t say it clearly, Watanuki-kun, but from my perspective, she’s unquestionably shit. Shit.”
Mamiya-san was using crude language that didn’t suit her, but from the way she said it, I could tell she genuinely hated Karen.
If she’d gotten involved with someone else’s fiancé like that, and still forgotten the one who’d barged in furious and punched him, then it was only natural she’d think so—.
“Just so you know, I’m angry about how she treated you, too. Acting like it was nothing, running her mouth with those nonsensical excuses, putting on this attitude like I’m the one who doesn’t care... and on top of that, she’s the reason you suspected me, didn’t she? Seriously—when I line it all up again, it’s unbelievably infuriating...!!”
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Mamiya-san spat it out like she was biting down on the words.
I found that side of her a little unexpected.
“What’s with that face?”
“No... I mean, you said ‘too,’ but what you said after that sounded way more like you’re really angry.”
“Are you trying to say you think I consider you being hurt more important than having my fiancé stolen?”
“Ugh... no, not that far...”
Ẅ е́b̄ ńо̌ v̆ еl̂ Е ň u m̈а̂
Even if I’d ended up saying it honestly, it felt like an over-the-top, self-conscious thing to say, even to me...
“But actually, that might be true. To begin with, you and I took different levels of damage, and... well, a big part of it is that she just pisses me off as a person. Ah—if only she’d actually see us. Then if she picked a fight, I could say it to her. ‘He’s my boyfriend now. Even if you regret it, it’s too late. If you pick a fight again, I’ll take it where it needs to go.’... Something like that?”
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Mamiya-san smiled as if she were joking, but her eyes still weren’t smiling.
“Honestly, from my perspective, thinking I’m on the same side as her is truly insulting... Would this be easier if I could prove I really am engaged to that man? If I asked my father, there’s a chance he has some written proof of our engagement, and.... no, if I bring it up, it’d be more convenient to do it when I’m demanding we break off the engagement, and otherwise...”
“Huh—b-break off the engagement!?”
“Of course. He even had a physical relationship with another woman. And I recorded solid proof, too.”
W еb̃n̆ о̌ ve l Ē n̈ um̈ а̌
As she said that, Mamiya-san shoved her phone at me. Did that mean she’d recorded that affair on video back then?
If she was going this far, then Mamiya-san really was—.
“...Whatever. Even if I don’t prove my innocence right away, I told you. That I would never let go of your hand.”
“Ah...”
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“No matter what inhuman thing your childhood friend and ex—what’s-her-name—pulls, and no matter how paranoid you get, I’ll hold you in place. You can relax and doubt me if you want, you know? Or rather, I could make your head so full of me that you can’t even think about your ex-girlfriend anymore... And I may not look it, but I’m the type who dotes, you know?”
Whether she was joking or serious, that declaration came with pressure, and it made me feel overwhelmed... and I couldn’t help thinking that Mamiya-san really was Mamiya-san.
Е̄ n̄ ù m̈ a
If my eyes were still wrong after all this... then that would mean she was an unbelievable actress. At that point, I’d just have to give up and turn it into a surefire story to tell in the future.
“You finally smiled.”
Mamiya-san leaned in to peer at my face and smiled brightly.
And only then did I realize I was smiling—unconsciously, naturally.
“I’m impressed, Mamiya-san.”
“Oh? Then I guess it was worth the effort to cheer you up.”
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“Yeah... Sorry for doubting you in such a weird way. Though it did make me wonder—on the flip side—why you’d go that far.”
“Why... huh.”
She’d come all the way to my nearest station after school. Without minding that she might be misunderstood, she’d worked to restore my trust—and more than anything, she’d cheered me up with everything she had.
That devotion made me end up blurting out things I didn’t even need to say.
But Mamiya-san didn’t look annoyed even once. She rested a hand against her chin, thinking seriously—
“There are a few reasons. One is that I made a promise with you, Watanuki-kun. As comrades who support each other and lick each other’s wounds... That’s what we are. Another is that my pride absolutely won’t allow me to be lumped in with that man and that cheating woman. And...”
Е̊ nu.m̌ ǎ. і̂ ḋ
She paused.
“...Somehow, I just can’t leave you alone, Watanuki-kun.”
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“Huh? What do you mean...?”
“I mean exactly what I said. It hasn’t been long since I started talking with you, but I can’t help thinking that what your ex ended up like... is, to some extent, your fault.”
My fault...?
She cheated, acted like being boyfriend and girlfriend didn’t matter, dumped me like it was nothing, and then tried to keep being childhood friends like it was only natural.
Еnù m а̇ . i̊d
And Mamiya-san was saying she’d found something in me—something that connected to Karen’s words and actions...!?
“That can’t be true! What about me could possibly—”
“That’s for later, little by little. Don’t worry—I’ll correct you properly.”
Laughing as she said it, Mamiya-san stepped forward with a buoyant spring in her stride.
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With the sunset at her back, the wind lifting her hair in a soft flutter, she smiled proudly—almost provocatively.
I probably wouldn’t be able to fall in love for a while.
E.n̈ ŭm̀ а .і̃d̃
I’d misjudged Karen’s true nature, and Mamiya-san had gone so far as to say the cause lay with me.
In a situation where I couldn’t even trust myself, I had no confidence I could possibly come to like someone.
So I knew—clearly—that this wasn’t that kind of thing, and yet—
'She really is beautiful.'
Not just her looks, but the way she carried herself, the way she lived... In the moment I found myself captivated by her, I was able to forget all the pain.
She was dazzling—probably far more perfect than I even realized—and the closer I got to that brightness, the more my own weakness and inadequacy felt like they were being thrown into stark relief.
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Just a little—only a tiny bit—I found myself feeling sympathy for why Shibaki Soichi had cheated.
But even so, I reached out my hand toward her.
Because if someday I could become the kind of person who could stand beside her with confidence, then I thought that, at that point, I might finally be able to love myself at least a little.
“Hehehee!”
And maybe she’d think I was an idiot, but... because I didn’t want her to be alone—not ever—she clasped my hand back with that childish innocence, with that radiant smile.
