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Chapter 368
An Undeniable Bond
When he was enveloped in the massive light, Ferda became certain of one thing.
The heat and light he had briefly felt were not something Ferda's body could withstand.
At this level, he had undoubtedly died.
He could not survive.
Ferda, who had thought so, opened his eyes again.
W е̃ b̀n_о̌ v̂ е l Е̂ num̀ а̌
Pointlessly blue sky.
And smells and sounds that were not peaceful.
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Ferda had not died, but returned to this world once more.
'My body?'
Ferda first checked his body's condition.
His limbs were intact.
Е n̊ ŭmа
"...I really am tenacious, huh."
He had faced moments before death many times, but had never actually reached death.
He was caught in the aftereffects of Frontesis's spear, but survived dramatically.
Again.
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'Then what about that bastard?'
I'm this fine, so isn't that bastard alive too?
W е_ḃ n о̄ v е́ l̆ Ѐ n̆ũ mâ
Such anxiety was soon erased.
Looking up at the sky like this, if that bastard isn't coming in, he's definitely been dealt with.
'All the large ones are dead.'
Now only the medium and small ones remain.
As the command tower collapses, monsters will start flowing inside the wall.
'From now on is the start.'
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He can't afford to dawdle.
Ferda thought so and tried to rise from his spot.
'Damn it.'
Instead of his limbs being intact, strength wouldn't enter them.
He had a considerable amount of mana in his body, but it must have all been unconsciously released as a defensive reaction.
'On top of that, my spine's gone to shit too.'
Еn̈ u m̌ а̌. ĭ_d
It feels like it's slipped.
Whenever he tries to put even a little strength into his body, sharp pain rushes in as if binding Ferda's body.
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'Tenaciously surviving while ending up helpless - there are too many times like this.'
What's the meaning of living like this?
Along with such thoughts, he tried to sink into gloom but shook his head.
'It's not time to die yet.'
Е̄n̆u ḿ a. і̀ d̈
The war was still ongoing.
It was too early to escape to rest through death.
He needs someone's help.
Someone to help him, even if just for a moment.
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-Find the Regent!
-Find him no matter what!
Е_n ůḿ а
The voices of the rescue force heard from far away.
The surroundings were thick with dust, and the mana was a mess - an environment enough to cause interference even in search magic.
Ferda tried to shout loudly to make his presence known to them.
But instinct moved first, reflexively covering Ferda's mouth.
-Grrrrr...!!
A small monster passed by Ferda, making a sharp sound.
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They reacted to sound, moving toward the rescue force.
-Shit! Monsters!
-Monsters are crossing the wall and coming inside!
Monsters began crossing the wall and invading inside.
Starting with the ones that entered first, their numbers gradually increased.
Fortunately, they could be overcome with veteran knights and the power of technology.
Е̄ n̄uṁӑ.
And that they hadn't noticed Ferda's presence yet.
As time passed, the roughly risen dust settled on the ground.
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Ferda's vision also began to clear, and only then could he see what was right next to him.
A soldier was dead.
He must have died in a single blow while trembling in fear.
That death is not someone else's.
Е̌ ňùm̆а . і̇ d̈_
This battle is on a different dimension from the war games where knights held bodies hostage and demanded ransom.
Someone will die, and that someone could be him.
Ferda harbored a question.
If that someone becomes me, can I die quietly?
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At that moment, the Shadow Circle moves on its own again.
As if it had a will of its own, it appeared before Ferda and said this.
Ẅ е̄ b̃n̊о̂ v él Ӗ nǔm̈ ӓ
-I won't let you die.
Mother, Sierra.
Not a modifier attached when calling a god's name, but to Ferda, she was truly his mother.
'Do you still intend to toy with me as you please?'
Ferda asks, imbuing deep loathing.
But the sensation wrapping his body is soft and affectionate.
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Like an embrace.
'How long do you intend to make me dance in your palm, wishing only for my misfortune?'
-It's not that I want you to be unconditionally miserable. I just want you to stay alive.
'So you just want me to become that crazy moon.'
-Not necessarily.
A voice that felt uncharacteristically dejected.
Е̌ nũ m̄а̃ .ǐď
Or it could be Ferda's delusion in his confused state.
-I'll help you. No need to suffer any more for that selfish woman.
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She tried to reach out her hand.
Ferda still remembered Valdrova's figure collapsing to save him.
'I don't need your help.'
-Do you think those monsters will just leave you alone if they find you?
E ńũm̂ a
"I don't have such complacent thoughts."
-If they try to harm your body, I'll try to save you somehow.
Only then did he realize one thing.
Why his limbs were this intact.
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'Why are you playing mother only now?'
What followed understanding was anger.
E n̆ u.m а̌
'When you've only wished for my misfortune all this time?'
-There was a reason.
'Then try telling me that reason. Just don't grow the hatred toward you any further by saying so.'
-You could only live if that woman, Valdrova, died.
She spoke softly.
Ferda chews over it again and again, but only one emotion is felt from those words.
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Worry.
A mother's worry for her only child.
-That was the fate you held that I couldn't erase even with the Swamp of Oblivion. A future where you die by Valdrova's hand.
'So you made me like this on your own.'
-Because I had to. You're the one and only existence that no one can replace.
'Right. Your precious, Godwin's soul.'
Ёn ũm̃ а̂ . і̂ ḋ_
Anger heated Ferda's body like firewood.
Did that will touch his body?
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He felt sensation returning to Ferda's fingers.
As if connecting from the periphery to the center.
From fingertips to forearm, and to shoulder.
Strength was gradually returning.
Е n̂ùmã
Ferda reached out his hand toward the dust.
-Do you believe that'll make them find you?
He answered as if it were natural to her question.
'Yes.'
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-You don't believe in miracles.
'Yes, I don't believe.'
E̊ n u ṁа̄. id
-Then you won't have the vain expectation that a knight on a white horse will appear from inside you either.
In Ferda's life, miracles had always betrayed him.
He believed it would be the same now.
That too, he answered as if natural.
'I don't have vain expectations like a knight on a white horse.'
I don't believe in miracles.
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A knight on a white horse won't come.
But even so, why did he reach out his hand?
What does he believe in?
The answer to that returns to Ferda.
"Regent-nim!!"
A voice piercing through the thick dust.
Е̇nu m̄ а
From that resounding voice, a strange man reeking of country bumpkin-ness.
"Where are youuuuu!?"
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Blurry, but his silhouette showed the situation.
That man was running through the monsters.
'Instead of a knight on a white horse, there's a country bumpkin riding a bird/steed.'
Ferda raised his hand and waved with all his might.
Е̄ ň ů m̀а̃
Just fluttering his palm - in this environment, it looked easy to miss.
A minuscule movement that dull-witted man normally would never have noticed.
"Found you! I'll save you!!"
As if to prove it wasn't empty words, hoofbeats rode the ground and drew closer.
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He runs toward Ferda, piercing through the dust.
The moment he saw that face, laughter burst out.
Ѐ_n̆ü m а̀_
Whether from dust or fear, he approaches with tears and snot streaming down.
Bloodshot eyes wouldn't let go of Ferda.
One hand held the reins, the other tilted to hook Ferda's hand that was loosening.
"Got you!"
Malcolm's hand, running like the wind, snatched Ferda and hoisted him onto the rear seat.
Thud!
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At that intense force and speed, his misaligned spine snapped back into place.
Ferda fixed his posture and sat behind his back.
"Ar-are you okay?"
"Does this look okay?"
"Ah, sorry!"
"Nothing to be sorry for."
En u m а
Contrary to his frozen words and actions, the bird/steed's movements deftly deceived monsters and advanced.
'As expected, he's no ordinary bastard.'
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The reason he could become an imperial knight was probably because of this guy.
He'd ignored the bird/steed's uniquely ugly appearance, but that was a blind spot.
This guy is brave and smart enough to rival any famous horse.
"270 left to go!"
Е n̂ūm̆ a. ї d
Malcolm said that.
"I'll save 270 more... and become a knight who can face you, Regent-nim!"
Ferda ordered him to do what he does best.
In the end, he was doing what he did best, and because of that, he found Ferda.
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'Stupid bastard.'
He wanted to say he's truly stupid.
E ñ û_m̈.ā . і̃ d
But that was just emotion from his own jealousy, so he swallowed it.
"Malcolm."
"Yes!"
"Did I ever say you were smart?"
"Huh? Um, I... I think I remember you did?"
"You're not just smart."
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"Y-yes?"
Malcolm making foolish sounds.
He gave an answer to him showing such a figure.
"You're the continent's greatest knight. I, myself, guarantee it."
Malcolm couldn't answer those words.
This surging emotion is too noble.
Е̇ nu m̊â .і̊d
He didn't want to ruin it with his stupid remark.
"An-anyway, I'll escort you to the rear!"
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"No, that's not necessary."
"Huh? Then how..."
"Just buy me a little time."
"Y-yes!"
E n̂ ûm а
He could move right now, but Ferda didn't want to go back.
There are still people left on the front lines.
And Ferda promised not to retreat until everyone had withdrawn.
That promise wasn't just words to raise morale.
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It was responsibility felt for everyone, and a pact to successfully finish this war.
'So what I need is...'
Еňūm̈ ä. і d
In the end, Ferda needed power.
What was needed for that power was decided.
'I need your help.'
So he calls that name secretly dwelling in his body.
'Mother.'
-Wasn't it you who denied me until just now?
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Sierra asks with a trembling voice.
'Yes. I threw such a tantrum, but in the end, I have no choice but to acknowledge your existence.'
He honestly confessed the anger he'd directed at her inside.
'What you did to me was the worst as a mother. In my eyes, you just looked like a woman who couldn't forget Godwin.'
-....
'You made me like this, and still make me like this, but I don't deny you. Know why?'
Е̊ṅ ŭ m а
-....
'Because you're family.'
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The world is entwined with many connections, and those made of blood are the most tenacious, the connections that cannot be severed.
'No matter how much I deny it, the fact that you're the mother who gave birth to me doesn't change. And damn it, what made me endure when I was hardest... was the memories with you.'
That's why he couldn't forget the Rosnova family either.
Though it was fake, it was a place where Ferda had an impossibly kind father.
Еñu m̀а̂ . і d
It was where his hope dreaming of normalcy existed.
He couldn't bear it collapsing.
'You are my mother. If you have even a little affection for your own flesh and blood, if you say you bore a child loving Godwin...'
Ferda politely requested.
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'Please take pity on them, and give me the power to overcome this crisis.'
He offers a prayer-like petition.
We_bṅ о̌ v е.l̄ E ñ um.ä
Ferda waited for her answer.
-You resemble him too much. Even the things I hate most.
Antipathy felt in her voice.
At that moment, he felt something squirming in the black, dark circle.
-So... I can't win against you.
As those words ended, the things in the Shadow Circle surged up as if riding blood vessels.
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Strength entered Ferda's body.
A dizzying sensation that might make him lose consciousness passed through his head and circled the front lines once.
And slowly spreads.
Is it eroding?
No.
It was different from when it controlled his body as it pleased.
Ẃе̊bǹ о̄ v̊ е̇.l̀ E n umǎ
As if it had been quietly inside his body, then released.
As if returning what Ferda should have had.
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The first change he felt was his vision.
'This is...'
Everything entering Ferda's vision looked different.
Each individual entity lost its shadows, glittering in vivid colors.
Е n̈úm̃ а̊ . ĭ_d
"Kyaaak!"
At someone's scream, Ferda turned his head.
It was the moment a wolf monster tried to pounce on a soldier.
That moment looked incredibly slow and clear.
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'Everything is distinct.'
Weaknesses covered in flesh are no longer meaningless.
Еn.u mа̃. і́_d
Where light doesn't enter, darkness exists; that darkness was Ferda's.
Ferda creates another self in that monster's darkness.
-Keureuk?
The small monster trying to slaughter mercilessly senses an anomaly.
The monster's will to commit destructive slaughter tries to move its body.
But its body didn't move as it wished.
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Ferda feels the monster's interior.
Even the texture of bones and organs inside are vividly felt.
If he possesses everything, he can do as he pleases.
Ferda twists hard toward that monster's heart.
-Kiiieek!
It falls with a sharp sound.
Ẅ ê b̄ ṅ ӧ v̌ë l̈ Ё n̊ u m̀a
A swirling mark remains from its chest.
'Similar to the technique Gokma used.'
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But there was a decisive difference.
Not distorting by setting a point, but thoroughly chasing darkness and twisting what's inside it.
Everyone has shadows, so it can't be avoided.
This is Sierra's power, and simultaneously Godwin's power.
Е̊ n̊ u m å .і̇d́
Magic close to the source that human mages dare not imitate.
'How long will this last?'
Ferda couldn't get a read on it.
Strong power always brings strong reaction.
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But that reaction wasn't felt in his body.
-10 minutes from now.
Е.n̈ û m̂ а
Sierra said that.
