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Chapter 306
Denial
Valdrova Castle, Arcade.
"I'm going to the World Tree."
Ferda said to Valdrova.
"I heard. Mesabosk is there...... And you said it causes the Dragons' Twilight?"
"Yes."
W̄_e b̄ n ӧ ve̊ l En u ṁ а
"Dragons' Twilight......"
Ferda could tell from Valdrova's reaction.
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Back at the Council Hall, everyone knew of that Twilight, but she doesn't know it.
Even Nekonata, who pokes around inside Limbo, seems to know of it, but Valdrova looked like she couldn't get a grasp on it.
"I don't know what it is, but...... would it be right to say the demons...... are trying to flip the world again?"
The demons' revival.
Е n̈ú m̌ а̄
>
Until just a few days ago, Ferda would have believed they were using Mesabosk for that very purpose.
But Blancaros said that in this war, all demons will die.
Of course, given his track record, distrust is natural.
Dilarang mengopy novel dari Enuma.id.
But Blancaros's words carry weight on a different dimension than others.
He imposed restrictions on himself for the sake of Order, and those restrictions are clear enough that even foolish people can see them distinctly.
E ǹ u m̈ а̂
In other words, there is no falsehood in what he said.
Even so, there were too many things that didn't make sense.
Chaos and Order cannot coexist.
Just as water and fire, sun and moon, life and death are clearly divided.
The intent differs, but there is an ultimate essence.
Ferda must uncover the intent they've hidden, and if it's harmful, ruthlessly cut it out.
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That is what he must do as Valdrova's partner.
"That's right."
Ferda answered simply.
He didn't want to confuse her with complex and unclear information.
Just seeing her worried expression, she already looked overwhelmed.
"Ferda-ssi......"
Ѐ n ǔ m̈ а́
"Yes."
"Should I...... go there?"
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At her question, Ferda asked back.
"I'll go and try to persuade Mesabosk. That child isn't bad by nature. There must be a difficult reason......"
"Things could get bigger. Eleanor, I don't think you getting involved would be a good thing."
Ferda answered so, and Valdrova's body flinched.
Е̇ n u m̆ а̂. i ď
"Right? If I go there...... things could get bigger......"
Seeing that reaction, Ferda realized he'd made a mistake.
Twilight Declaration.
Dragons' participation.
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Large-scale war.
Only the speaker and location changed; the gist was no different from the Second Dragon-Demon War.
Е n ũ m̆а̀ .і̄ ḋ
In the Dragon-Demon War, Valdrova killed Godwin.
Then she killed Silverwind too.
As much as half the battlefield's blood was filled by her hands, she left behind the greatest feats and horrors.
The wounds are larger and deeper than that.
'She knows that better than anyone.'
Then why does she say such things?
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She habitually drove herself with anxiety.
What made her that way?
Ferda glanced at his face reflected in the water cup.
And he was certain.
'It's because of me.'
He realized just how poorly he was managing his expression.
Е̂n u m̂å..і́ d̃
He'd slept a full day and made all preparations for this moment, yet it wasn't enough to hide his heart's worry.
Something inside him had been breaking since Eremvalt died.
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That's why Valdrova said that.
Because Valdrova can't just watch someone suffer.
Even her own unhealed, gaping wounds she puts on the back burner.
That's why she always stood at the vanguard.
Еn ǔ m̊ӑ.і̄ d̊
"There are already many people participating in the war."
Ferda answered slowly, without emotion.
Not reacting to her response, but answering naturally like someone who hadn't noticed.
"Is that so?"
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"Mesabosk-nim is a strong dragon, and together with the World Tree that has existed since the primordial era, they're powerful, but we're also making corresponding preparations. Frontesis-nim, of course, and Odograsado-nim and Storeus-nim have also declared participation to stop the ambition, so things will surely end well."
Mesabosk will be subdued by the dragons,
Ê nũm а
The World Tree will regain its former vitality, and peace will come to the continent.
A fairy-tale-like story was nothing but a scheme to reassure her.
Worldly affairs don't end that easily.
"That's right, isn't it?"
Valdrova didn't throw a tantrum or anything.
She seemed to have eased up a bit as Ferda intended.
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"Still, I want to do something for Ferda-ssi......"
Valdrova's face turned bright red.
With her innocence, she bit her lip tightly as if she'd imagined something terribly sinful.
She quietly took out the object she'd been fiddling with in her hand.
The anti-puncture rubber Penelope made for Valdrova.
One could immediately tell what putting that on meant she wanted to do.
W е̇ b̈n o̊ v̆е l̇ E ń um a
Words weren't needed.
She simply spread her arms, preparing to accept Ferda.
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Ferda carefully embraced her.
That embrace always surprised Ferda.
This small person is the owner of fire and power - still unbelievable how small and soft she is.
It constantly reminded Ferda of his sins.
Ѐn̆ ǔ m̊а̄. і̄d
Human conscience is a triangle, it was once said.
When you do something against conscience, it rotates and hurts the heart.
The more you use it, the duller that triangle becomes, until at the end you feel no hesitation at all doing things against conscience.
All mages grow dull to such ethics and conscience, and Ferda was such a human too.
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But things related to Valdrova were different.
The conscience that should grow duller instead grew sharper, hurting Ferda.
Ӗnum̆а .ї ď
All that increases is acting like nothing's wrong, and questions.
Can I really have this woman?
"I'm curious what Ferda-ssi is thinking."
A question as if she'd read his thoughts.
Because of that, he almost stuttered.
"What are you so anxious about?"
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Valdrova didn't answer.
No, she couldn't.
The body of the woman in his arms trembled faintly.
Suuup......
The sound of sniffling touched his heart.
"I...... don't want Ferda-ssi to go anywhere."
É n̂ u ḿа .іd̃
A plea.
"If we just stay like this, we'd be happy...... ignore all the world's affairs, just spend time faithful only to each other......"
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"Are you afraid I won't return?"
"I don't know. Just...... if I let Ferda-ssi go like this...... it feels like you'll flutter away like a butterfly."
Like a butterfly.
Unlike the cute expression, it's unspeakably sad.
Е̇ ň u m̀â .і̄d
"I've always returned."
"I know. I know but...... suddenly I get this feeling."
The hand of the woman embracing him trembled.
"Can't we just do nothing, and have only our time together?"
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That was the ideal Ferda and Valdrova both wished for.
But ideals can't be realized, which is why they're ideals.
Wӗ.bnо̂vеl̊ Еṅ u m а̃
'That's impossible.'
Ferda answered internally.
Ferda can resolve to turn his back on the world anytime.
The world was nothing but a lump of malice that only gave him pain.
'The reason I can't turn my back on the world is you......'
The reason he can't turn his back on the world is Valdrova.
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Everything showed in her embrace.
The true desire to hold her tight with all his strength, and the reason that says he can't.
Small dreams and power that isn't so small.
'So I have to go.'
You still love humans despite that, and I think your love is sublime.
Unable to speak, he gently stroked her head and soothed her.
W е́b̂ nо̂v̈e l̈ Е̌ n u m̌ å
After sniffling for a long while, Valdrova quietly pushed away from Ferda's embrace.
He inwardly feared she might just run away, but she only created distance to lift her head.
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"So...... I want to say this."
Reddened eyes.
When he heard her voice, he knew she'd been about to cry.
But her expression was far from sadness.
W̌еb n ovе ľ Еn̈um̌ а
"When Ferda-ssi returns...... let's talk about marriage next."
At the unexpected words, Ferda's eyes widened.
"Marriage......?"
"Yes. Marriage."
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A word that made Valdrova's face burn bright red, and a word that froze Ferda's head solid.
If that were magic, it might be the strongest magic that stops Ferda's time.
Е̂.n̂ u m̌ӓ
"Right now we're engaged...... so there might be even more we don't know about each other, right?"
"......"
"I'll wear a pure white dress, Ferda-ssi will wear a black suit, we'll receive blessings together in the garden...... I want to show everyone that I'm Ferda-ssi's woman."
The future she drew was vividly clear.
Ferda had drawn it countless times too, so he could see it plainly.
"Eleanor. Didn't you say you were curious about my thoughts?"
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"Yes."
"Are you still curious?"
They locked eyes for a long moment.
Right now, he felt connected to her.
Surely they were seeing the same future.
Valdrova didn't speak.
Eñ um̊.ӑ
Ferda didn't speak either.
Each other's gazes dropped lower and lower from their eyes.
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Red, small lips glistened like morning apples kissed by dew.
The once-innocent Valdrova felt a strange impulse.
What would it feel like to press my lips to those soft lips?
As the imagination continued, Valdrova's face flushed redder.
Ёn.ū m̊ а
Afraid her vulgar thoughts would be exposed, Valdrova silently embraced Ferda again and hid herself.
Soft sensation wrapped around Ferda once more.
Ferda's body trembled as if vibrating.
Valdrova's heartbeat was so powerful it felt like it pierced through her chest and hammered.
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"I'll definitely return. Eleanor, if you miss me, anytime."
"What do I do? I already miss you."
Ën ŭṁ а̀
"Then try lifting your head."
Valdrova, buried in his embrace, lifted her head and met Ferda's eyes.
Golden-glowing cat eyes clearly looked up at Ferda.
She smiled.
Ferda smiled along.
* * *
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The departure for the World Tree proceeded as scheduled.
Since the Arken Empire's large forces are heading for the World Tree, they had to move even a day faster.
With several tens more magitech trucks produced, carrying many troops and supplies running without rest, they should arrive in time.
"The Far East Alliance side has all expressed intent to participate."
Count Ulbera Consilirus said.
"They're cooperating actively."
Ẅěbǹ о̀ v ē l̇ E.n ů m ӑ
"They have no choice. They're all people who were pushed out here after trying to become central nobles, aren't they? They have ability, but politically pushed out - how great must their resentment be?"
"When a fool becomes a fool...... is the saying, huh."
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Ferda reflexively frowned.
He wondered who said that, but it was something Penelope had said.
Just how many times has the thought crossed my mind that I want that damn woman gone from my life? Can't even count.
"Right now, the Far East is like a late-born child we gave up on. We're watching that late child born healthy and growing strong as a robust child. The Empire is like a parent, but if it tries to uselessly put on the brakes, we'll ruthlessly stab it."
Е̄ nu m̀ а . і̂ d
"I see......"
"My, this old man spoke and failed to read the Regent-nim's heart. My apologies."
Consilirus bowed his head deeply.
Everyone now knows the Rosnova family is gone.
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"It's fine. He wasn't a good father to me anyway."
"Still, a father is a father. The one you saw most while living, isn't he the biggest part of you? Emotional turmoil is unavoidable."
Е̄ṅú m а . і̆ ď
True words.
The reason he'd wailed at his death was because he was ultimately his father.
"Fathers don't know their wrongs until the moment they lose their child. I was like that."
Having poked at Ferda's painful wound, he revealed his own wound too.
Ferda quietly listened to his story.
"I was one of the knights by Grand Duke Golt's side. When I was young, he was approaching middle age. I ran through life-and-death battlefields with him several times. The tension of possibly dying became euphoria, and I became quite the battle maniac."
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He looked down at his teacup.
He sees his own appearance aged by time.
"Grand Duke Golt is very thorough about recompense. My merits were recognized, I became part of the central nobility, and became someone favored by the hero Valdemar Golt. That a hero is not designated by fate but made - he proved it and became a model. Can you see how great my pride was?"
He laughed hollowly.
Knowing a bad ending would come, Ferda just listened quietly.
"My son wasn't that timber. He took after his mother. He had skill and was brave, but not enough to risk his life. I thought it was temporary wandering. I was like that too, and the method my father used on me made me a true knight."
Ẁ е b n̈ o̊vё l Е ňů_m̊а́
"You insisted on the knight family's honor."
"Yes. Like my father, I wanted my only son to carry on as a member of a knight family. So I pushed him into a dangerous battlefield. Like my father did, I believed that if he entered an extreme situation, he'd realize what kind of existence he is. But...... he was different from me."
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"Was his skill lacking?"
"If it was, I wouldn't have sent him. He had decent skill. He just wasn't destined to jump into battlefields from the start."
He pointed to his own right eye and spoke.
"They say an arrow pierced his eye and dug inside. He fell from his horse and happened to fall face-first, so the arrow penetrated his helmet. He died without even getting to swing his sword once."
Wеḃnо̃ v̌_ё l̇ Е̃ ń u mа_
An orc archer couldn't possibly be a master sniper capable of long-range sniping like an elf.
It was purely luck, at a level where believing it was heaven's mandate wouldn't be strange.
"My wife resented me from that day on. Since it was a child born with difficulty through pure love, not a political marriage between families, the void was that much greater."
"......So she left you?"
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"Yes. She left me and went to hell."
Meaning she took her own life.
Е̂ n um̄_а. і̀ d
"She left a will. I read it with the thought she'd curse me to the end. It said this. 'Ulbera, my love. Please live out my remaining life for me.'"
"......"
"So I decided to live. If not for that will, I would've followed my wife without hesitation. With no reason to advance my career, I came to the Far East of my own will."
"That's how we got to have such a capable person by our side."
"And unreliably...... a son was born too."
The heavy atmosphere lightened a little.
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"Anyway, what I wanted to say was that at the moment of death, he surely would've tried to protect you."
"How so?"
He acted a little annoyed.
But he thought it was okay.
"If I may humbly say my thoughts, that day, those dirty demon bastards might have told him to become bait to lure the Regent-nim. If he hated you, Regent-nim, he'd have prepared to stab you in the back by cooperating with demons."
"Would you have done that?"
Е n̊ ü m̈ a
"I'd have tried to make him a companion so he wouldn't be a stumbling block."
A plausible story.
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'Would Eremvalt have done that?'
Ferda sneered internally.
Consilirus doesn't know Ferda's situation properly.
That he really was a cuckoo child.
Е́ ñù m_а̃.і̄d̆
That he was abandoned like that, and until the end, his father refused to acknowledge him.
But strangely, those words became comfort.
After all, what Ferda ultimately wanted was denial, just as he said.
That denial filled the unknown realm of Ferda with Consilirus's imagination.
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That even when demons rushed in, his figure was a little like a father.
'Ulbera, my love......'
Е̇ n u m̊.а̂
The will he left lingered in Ferda's mind.
Son dies, wife follows after.
Suddenly, he understood why Valdrova doesn't want a child.
Losing someone you love that much is a terrifying thing.
'Someday I'll disappear too.'
And a child would disappear too.
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She is eternal, and that sorrow toward death will be doubled.
That was the fundamental problem that cannot be overcome between immortal and mortal.
